You might be a nurse if:
- when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.
- your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient’s bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
- men assume you must be great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about nurses.
- everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
- you want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors.
- you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
- you can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spagetti with lots of tomato sauce.
- you use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shotglass.