You might be a nurse if…

You might be a nurse if:

  • when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.
  • your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient’s bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
  • men assume you must be great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about nurses.
  • everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
  • you want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors.
  • you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
  • you can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spagetti with lots of tomato sauce.
  • you use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shotglass.
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